The day started out well. Well, I woke up. Showered, packed and checking out in plenty of time and ready to tackle this river that had foiled me upon my arrival.
However, I did have a bit of a headache and my paracetamol was back in my bag in Jiaxing. Not to worry, there is a chemist right next door! I was greeted by an officious looking lady, complete with white coat and with the help of google translate and some brilliant pain acting by me, we established I needed something for my head. She handed me a packet from behind the counter, which was mostly in Chinese but had some chemical name printed in English.
A bit dubious about taking some random Chinese herbal concoction I didn't recognise the compound. No amount of Google translating could reassure me that this was something like Panadol.
Ah ha! I wrote down the name of the drug and took it back to my hotel where there had been some success with basic English. Soon I was assured that I wouldn't keel over after ingesting it and I went back to the chemist and made my purchase. Why is EVERYTHING so complicated????
Anyway, time to set off for the bus terminal. You see, I had paid attention during the short taxi ride to the hotel and was looking forward to a stroll across a gorgeous bridge we had crossed. Mind you, the taxi had emerged from the bowels of the train station, so it was still a bit of a hope and see where I end up kind of mission.
I quite enjoyed my wander:
It's a wonder I haven't seen a vehicle accident yet. People text and scooter...with their baby in their arms!
I found the bridge with no big trouble:
Gorgeous:
I even found time to stop for a shoe shine.
These boots were made for walking:
Before I knew it, I had reached the square that I had thoroughly explored on arrival trying to work out how to get over the river.
It was not without its drama though. See the ladder up the side of the building? Out of view are severa police cars and fire trucks and you may just make out the poor gentleman perched in the structure behind there the ladder is leaning. I didn't stop to take photos as I passed below. Mind you, there were plenty of locals doing just that!
I purchased my ticket back to Jiaxing without a problem. Go me!!!
And again scored the top front seat of the double decker!
Toot toot! (For my boy!)
Before I knew it I was back in Jiaxing. But at a different bus station to where I was expecting. Oops.
After making several attempts in working out which bus might take me in vacuity of Cambridge Gardens, I bit the bullet and caught a cab. Not proud, but sometimes it's best to pick your battles, I say!
I got back to the apartment and caught up with Brian and Julienne and then Susan a little later.
During this time I heard from home that Pheonix was having an extended 'moment' and not complying with anything Sequoia and Robyn were asking of him. This has been an ongoing issue with him and I had (probably blindly) hoped that he'd try and do the right thing whilst I was away on this sorely needed time for me.
I was thinking at this time that if things didn't settle down with him, I'd have to look at cutting my trip short and returning home.
I was a bit upset but when Susan said I could skip the class I said that I am quite able to put home worries aside and be professional.
After a bite to eat, Susan had already left to head over to the classroom without me realising so I quickly got ready and headed over hoping to take the chance to review the class prior to the children arriving. She brought up the pages we would be covering and that was that.
We hung out and soon the kids arrived. Being an 1830 Friday evening class I wasn't all that surprised when they arrived quite boisterous and excitable.
Class started and although they had to brought into line a few times either by Susan in Chinese or me by going and standing next to and engaging the leader of the moment. We got through our work and had a bit of song time at the end. One of the worksheets had closed accidentally when I'd shut down the paint application, which Susan had to retrieve for me as I have no idea where the workbooks were stored on the computer.
Once the class was over, I said to her, 'I'm so sorry for closing that page.'
She then told me not to worry about that, it had been a terrible class and that I had 'lost them' and that I didn't have control. That I should know how to control the class by now (this was the 2nd round with the 1st class I taught from last week).
What??? I know the kids were restless but I can't do the job??? I said to her that I understand that I came here completely inexperienced. However, I wasn't feeling very supported or that I had been given a proper orientation as to what the expectations were for me. Hey, I was still working out how each class ran, let alone classroom management!
She then said 'I do not want to argue.' I don't think she even heard what I said. Things went downhill from there.
We returned to the apartment where I spoke to Brian about what had happened. He told me he had try to tell me about the curriculum and that I wasn't listening. I told him that I was listening but this wasn't the only support I needed to be up and running. I believed that Susan's role in the classroom was as translator and disciplinarian. I had no idea that I was expected by the start of the 2nd week of me conducting classes that I was to be operating to the level that Brian is after 17 years of teaching. I will put this down to a complete communication breakdown about expectations of all parties. I then left for him to speak it over with Susan. I went downstairs and spoke to my family, where we worked out what we would do with Pheonix and how my Mum and Dad and also Robyn all did not want to see me rush back. I took a look at my options with local, affordable hotels and knew that if we Susan and I couldn't talk this through, I had somewhere to go.
When I returned to the apartment, we tried to talk it out but Susan said that she was worried about my inability to do the job and what that would mean for the school (which would be soon closing up with their move to Australia) and the reputation she would be leaving behind. She had nothing further to say.
Well. Nowhere to go with this. Entirely to Brian's credit, he was trying to get us to sort this, but I just didn't want to be there any longer. I had come here to 'get away from it all and do something completely different.' If Susan could not speak to me, let alone work with me, I no longer felt comfortable in their home. It was time for me to remove myself.
Susan ended up out the door, slamming it behind her. As I had left my gear packed up nicely for my couple of nights away, it didn't take me long to put everything together and take my leave.
I thanked Brian for this opportunity and apologised for any problem I had caused with his family and that if classes were to continue with a western teacher that he would now need to resume. I hope he understood that I was very regretful that this had not worked out but with Susan unable to assist and support me to the level she wanted, I wasn't doing anyone any favours by sticking around.
I was very sad to say goodbye to Julienne. She has been a wonderful guide and companion and a delight to spend time with.
It was with regret that I hailed a taxi and departed for a cheap business hotel to work out what I would next do.
I felt pretty terrible that night. I will take responsibility for leaving. I know that Brian really didn't want to teach anymore and was madly counting the days until departure (the day after I fly home). I have been thinking quite a bit since I left and in all honesty, I'm I'm not convinced I'm wanting to take this teaching English as a second language thing any further. And although I wouldn't give up this experience for the world, I can't see myself returning to China. I love travelling and although this has been a big eye opener for and about myself, I'm realise that I am not going to adore every place I visit. There are things that have been great here but maybe it really is just too culturally foreign to me. It doesn't help that I regretfully cannot speak the language but as I adore Europe, that's not it.
After speaking with my family about how I was feeling, I have decided that with their blessing I will stay and see the few things I do want to see here while I can.
I received an email from Brian reiterating that I am welcome to go back and without teaching use their home as a base to travel from. I really appreciate how gracious they have been to me and even with the terminal communication breakdown with Susan, I am glad that I have spent this time. I was enjoying the teaching, even though I haven't felt so unprepared and out of my depth for a long time...
I was feeling uncomfortable there and was not sleeping well at all. They certainly were welcoming to me, but being an adult guest sharing the room with a child and the apartment with a complete family, I was struggling. I'm sure they all thought it was weird that I was napping during the day so often, but I was just getting more and more tired as time went on.
It is with utmost respect that I say thank you to the Deekes and it is with no hard feelings that I depart. I sincerely wish them all the best in their move to Australia.
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